Hundred and Eighteen
I walked up to the brooding man who was still looking out the window in cold silence, despite the fact that he knew I was here, and I snaked my hands around his waist and pushed myself up against him.
I felt Alexander’s body stiffen at my touch and I frowned, a little hurt by his reaction. It was clear he was still mad at me and I understood why but it didn’t stop his recoil to my touch from hurting.
“you are still upset.” I stated.
When he didn’t say anything, I sighed but tightened my hold on him, ignoring the way his body stayed stiff in my hands. I laid my head on his back and began my apology.
“look, I’m really sorry Xander, about what you had to see in my room… I didn’t mean for you to see me like that. I overslept and I planned on getting rid of the bottles before…” I stopped, racking my brain on what to say. “We just thought to have a few drinks to celebrate you know, my new role as Luna, I didn’t mean for it to turn out like that. I’m sorry.” I finally settled.
Radio silence. It was as if I hadn’t spoken.
“The girls wanted to celebrate and I didn’t think anything of it. I’m really sorry. Will you forgive me?” I asked, waiting for him to at least turn around to look at me or give me something that indicated he was in the same room as me and he could here me but nothing.
When he didn’t say anything or acknowledge my apology, I sighed and loosened my hold on him.
“Are you going to say anything?” I pressed when he remained quite and unmoving.
“Okay.” He said after what felt like years. His answer felt like a knife had sliced through my heart because not only was it a one word answer that meant nothing, it sounded cold coming from him.
“Xander…” I tried again but he responded by detangling himself from my hold and walking over to his table.
I watched as he went. It had been a while since I felt this type of hurt. The kind only Alexander’s silence could procure and I didn’t miss it.
I really fucked up this time.
Tentatively, I walked over to his table. He was sitting with his his elbow on the arm of his chair and his palms on his jaw. He was watching me with zero emotion on his face.
“Xander… please, just talk to me.” I said, almost at the verge of tears. I hated when he looked at me like that. Like he couldn’t be bothered by my existence. It made me feel worthless.
He sighed in response and ran his hands down his face in frustration.
“What were you thinking Bella? What would have happened if more maids had witnessed that scene huh? You think they wouldn’t talk like last time? Another rumor would have spread and we’d be stuck trying to clear your name again.”
I knew all too well what Alexander meant and I understood where he was coming from.
“I don’t know what to say.” I looked down at my hands as I twiddled with my thumbs. I felt like a child who had been caught saving a bad word and I felt terrible about it.
“Other than that I’m sorry.” I continued, looking up at him. His eyes was less cold now and had Ben replaced by disappointment. I welcomed it, because at least it wasn’t cold and unfeeling.
“This is the first time in a while since I had had a single drop of alcohol. I hadn’t even planned on taking that much…”
“Then why did you?”
“Sasha got some of the drinks and I couldn’t refuse. It was a celebration! Was I supposed to say no?”
“You were supposed to be responsible. For God sake Isabella. You are the Luna of this pack, you should start acting like it! What do you think the pack would say. Don’t listen to the Luna, she’s a drunk.” He sighed and shook his head before speaking again
“You know what? just leave.” He suddenly said. It was clear, the conversation made him angry and it was taking a toll on him to have to even talk about it and that pissed me off.
“I’m not going anywhere until we talk about this like adults!” I sneered angry by his insult but still trying to do damage control. After all I’d been the one that was wrong.
“What do you know about being an adult? for God sake Isabella, drinking in the pack house after what happened last time?”
“would you have preferred if I had gone out to a club to drink huh? or maybe another man’s house?!” I snapped. I was fed up of going in circles. I was sorry and I had been saying so since I got here… it was just a few drinks too…. It certainly wasn’t enough reason to be called a
child.
His eyes narrowed and he came out from behind his desk and stalked towards me with a renewed fury.
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“you wouldn’t dare!” He said, enunciating each words and spitting them out like tiny bullets.
“Maybe I should.” I glared back at him annoyed at the way he was speaking to me like I was a literal child.
I sighed and my face softened,
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“look, I’m sorry okay. I don’t know what else to tell you.” I began “It was just a few drinks with my friends. It’s not as big a deal is you are making it seem.”
“what I saw in that room was anything but a few drinks ” he pointed towards my room.
I rolled my eyes as He ran his hands down his face and groaned.
“Sometimes I swear…”
“You swear what?” I asked daring him for some reason to finish his
sentence.
He shook his head and began to walk back to his desk, muttering something underneath his bestg along the line of ‘how clueless could one be.‘
I glared at him, upset at the way he was speaking to me like I was some type of burden to him. I get he was trying to look after me but that was not enough reason to make me feel like shit.
“You will not speak to me like a child Xander, I know what I’m doing.”
“Oh, do you? That explains why your apartment looked like the inside of an after party.”
“Can you drop it already? I don’t see what the big deal is. Your mom
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was fine with it when she came in, why are you making a mountain it of a mole hill ?”
Alexander chuckled darky as he shook his head.
“You know what? Maybe it’s time I start punishing you again.”
“Excuse me?”
“From now on, Sasha will not be allowed into the pack, she’s obviously a bad influence on you.”
“You can’t do that!”
“Cant I? I am the Alpha of this pack and it is my duty to do what‘ I see fit and beneficial for the pack. So yes, I can do just that.”
“Sasha has nothing to do with the pack. She’s a friend, one I care about. Why do you hate her so much. she’s done nothing but be respectful to you.”
“You will also be restricted from going to some parts of the pack until you learn you lesson.” He said, completely ignoring my previous
statement.
“That’s bull, I’m your Luna.”
“Exactly and if I have to take drastic measures to protect you, then I will.”
I bunched my hands into fist at his words.
“I hate this!” I yelled before storming out of his office, banging his door a little too loudly as I went.
“Lisa get one of the maids to bring me my art supplies, will you?” I said
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to Lisa as I passed her at the front door on my way to the garden.
“Yes, Luna.”
I wasn’t sure how or when I had gotten to the garden but I found myself sitting on one of the boulders with a canvas in front of me and a brush and paint pallet in hand. I had been too angry to process the walk all the way to the garden.
I stained the canvas with black paint, barely paying attention to what I was doing, I was still boiling with rage. I was so mad at Alexander, it hurt me. How dare him make those silly rules on what I could and could not do or who I couldn’t see. Who did he think he is?
The Alpha! My wolf replied and I got even angrier.
Well, two could play this game. If he wasn’t going to listen to me then I won’t listen to him.
I dragged my paint brush against the canvas again, staining it with a red angry line, putting my emotions into the poor Canvas.
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