Forty
Alexander’s POV
I went up to the Alpha wing, sensing her begin to follow when I had gotten ahead by a few feet. I kept moving until I had gotten to my room and shortly after, the door pushed open and she came in as well. Immediately she closed the door behind her, she reached for the light switch and switched on the lights which I hadn’t even realized weren’t turned on. The light instantly touched everything in the room, lighting it up, including her except that although her hair and her dress as well as her skin were illuminated, her face remained dark.
“What’s the matter?” I asked her.
“Is this a joke?” She asked bitterly and my eyebrow shot up. What was she talking about? “Why have me hide to follow you up here like we’re doing something wrong?”
I massaged my temple. I couldn’t tell her that it was because her life would be in danger if someone lurking in the shadows put two and two together and realized that she was the one. “Isabella today is a ceremony where I’m supposed to announce my mate. If I suddenly go off with one woman…”
“And that’s so terrible? Is it so wrong to suddenly go off with one woman when that woman is your mate? Who were you going to call when you climbed up that stage? Obviously not me. You barely even looked at me today. I told myself that despite our differences, you’d never pick another woman to be your mate when I was right there but obviously, I was wrong.”
“You’d wonder why I even care since all you’ve ever done was insult me and treat me like shit and honestly, I blame the stupid bond for tying me
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to you. If I could have an audience with the moon goddess, I would beg her for forgiveness for whatever I had done in my past life to warrant having to go through so much pain. I blame the bond because despite never having to go through so much hurt as in the time since I met you, I continued to have hope. Hope that things would somehow change and the bond will affect you as much as it affects me.
“And then you came to my house and kissed me senseless, you carried me to the bed and did all those things to me only to tell me to find someone else to finish me off. Why? Why would you say that to me?!” She screamed. “Why, when I have never found another man attractive since the day I met you? You hurt me that night.“She whispered and my fist clenched at my side when I saw tears begin to stream down her cheeks. “I felt so foolish, so ashamed, so used, and yet all I did was give in to the touch of my own mate. I don’t know how you can treat me the way you do and still act so freaking possessive.
“And still I had hope. When I heard that this ball was going to take place. I hoped blindly that something would change not because I coveted the Luna position but because I wanted a mate. Like every little girl, I dreamed of the day I’d finally meet that person who was created for me and who I was created for. I dreamed of being loved because I don’t see why I don’t deserve to be but I’ve come to realize that you never planned on accepting me. Not when you slept with me only to call me a whore afterward when you were perfectly sober and I was drunk. Not when you came to my house and made me think there was a silver lining only to turn into a dark cloud and rain hailstones.”
“No, this day was going to come and after all you’ve done to me, you were going to announce another woman as your mate and finally reject me like you planned to do since the first day you met me and realized you did not like me.”
“Isabella!”
“DO NOT YELL AT ME!” She seethed and I ran my fingers through my
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hair as I started to pace. “Do not yell at me!” She said and when I heard her voice crack, I stopped pacing and snapped my head to her.
“Stop crying, dammit!”
“Why? Does it actually make you feel something?” She scoffed,
“Impossible. Or does it just make you uncomfortable to see me like this instead of the hard–faced, squared–shouldered Isabella who always stayed strong despite what you did to break her? I carry myself the way I do so as not to let anyone walk over me, hurt me, or bully me and I never thought that the person who would break me would be my mate out of all people in the world. And the only thing that had made it possible, my biggest weakness was the bond itself. The mate bond which was supposed to be the best thing to ever happen to me became my poison.”
“You’re making a mistake, Isabella,” I whispered.
“Why did you agree to sleep with me when we first met? I don’t even remember half of that night because I was drunk, Alexander. I was drunk and I was heartbroken and I had my first one–night stand with a man I thought I just couldn’t resist. I didn’t know it was the mate bond but you did. You knew immediately after you met me that we were mates. Why didn’t you stop me? Instead, you use that as your basis to call me a whore for the remainder of my life.”
“I agree. I agree with half of the things you’ve said here and I accept my fault but in some parts you are mistaken. Let me speak, please.” I said, reaching for her but she moved away.
“I am pregnant.”
My head shot up.
“And don’t you dare ask me whose it is because I have not slept with anyone else since I met you.”
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I couldn’t find the words to speak. It was as if a bunch of words came down my mind only to crash into each other at my throat, choking me. I began to pace again, my hands finding my hair and beginning to pull until my scalp began to burn.
I had always wanted to be a father. I had always wanted to be a better father to my kid than my father was to me because although he provided me with everything I needed and trained me as his successor, he was emotionally unavailable and I grew up fearing him.
I had always thought of how different I would be as a father and how much love I would shower on my kid and now my mate was pregnant but my happiness was buried under loads of anxiety and fear.
Why now of all times? Why did she have to be pregnant now when things were so dangerous? The problem has certainly intensified and if anything happened to her and the baby she was carrying, I won’t survive it.
According to how many months have passed, she would start showing soon and questions would be asked. I would have to come out with it because I would never be the kind of man to deny such responsibility but then what next? Would we be fine?
Isabella suddenly scoffed, “You want me to abort it.”
“Of course not!” I bellowed, unable to fathom how she could’ve even come up with that. “Why would I want that? I only need time to process… It’s all happening too fast Isabella. So many things are happening at the same time and I just want everything to slow down.”
Brief confusion and concern flashed upon her face before she put on her mask once again. “Well I’m not going to abort my child and neither am I going to give him or her to whatever woman you pick to be your mate to raise. I wouldn’t do it.” She said before spinning around and making for the door. My hand instantly darted out to stop her but she threw it off.
“Don’t you dare touch me.” She hissed before pulling open the door and
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shutting it behind her.
I stared at the door for several seconds after she left before collapsing on the bed. Where was she getting this idea of me picking a random mate? And take her child and give it to another woman. I took in a deep breath and prayed to the goddess for direction.
There was no other choice but to come clean about the whole thing. I would have to go down there and declare Isabella as my mate. I had been planning to defy my father and just tell everyone that I hadn’t found my mate and call it a day. My father could not force me to pick any random lady anyway. I wanted to buy Bella and I some more time but now there was a baby involved.
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