Eighty
Isabella’s POV
My mom was in the kitchen when I stormed in. Her eyes immediately darted from the saucepan she was standing in front of to me at my intrusion and widening when he saw that it was me. Dropping her cooking spoon on a saucer on the counter, she rushed to me where I sat at the kitchen island with shoulder’s slumped and no doubt a very dejected look on my face.s
“Bella, honey, what’s the matter? Did something happen?”
I gasped, did she not know? I felt relieved and at the same time like I was a liar. She kept asking question after question; what’s the matter Bella? Are you ill? Did something happen? Did you and Alexander fight? It was like they all flew past my head and I could barely hear them so processing them and producing answers were out of the question. All I knew was that with every word, the room became more and more stuffy and the weight in my chest became even heavier. Suddenly remembering the food which was still cooking, she rushed back to the cooker. I wondered briefly why my mother was even cooking in the first place, it wasn’t particularly her favorite thing in the world to do so she usually left it to the
cook.
She came back to me and pulled out the chair beside me before sitting down. Placing a gentle hand on my chin, she pulled my face to face her before gripping my both hands in her lap. “Tell me, Bella. I’m getting really worried now. Did someone say something?”
I don’t know whether ‘that did it‘ would be the right phrase to use in this scenario considering she didn’t really say anything special or different. I think that was just the point where my cup finally ran over and I choked on the weight. That was the moment where I just could no longer hold it in and so I burst into tears. My mom looked startled and I didn’t blame her. I wasn’t one to overly show my emotions especially something as vulnerable as crying. Apart from recently when I saw my parents again after my rescue and after thinking I’d never see them again, the last time my mom must have seen me cry had to be when I was a little girl. I think I cried the most back then in Antonio’s captivity, in that depressing room, barefoot and in my dirty clothes.
I thought I could never go through anything as painful or depressing and I probably and hopefully won’t but this was a really close second.
“Mom.” I choked out and hearing me say something for the first time since I got here, her wide eyes immediately shot up to my face, nodding as she urged me to continue.
“Yes, dear?” She pressed, squeezing my hands.
“Am I a bad person?” I whispered and my mom frowned. “Am I so terrible that I deserve only bad stuff happening to me?”
“Bella, what are you saying? What is this about?“My mom asked frantically, looking very worried now.
“Am I really not worth even an ounce of happiness?” I sobbed.
“Isabella Rossi, please stop saying such things!” My mother cried calling me by my full name and when I looked up at her, I saw that she truly had tears running down her cheek just like the quiver in her voice has predicted. I sighed alongside my
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sobs. As though sharing my stigma and embarrassing Alexander was not enough, I was sharing my sadness as well. “Of course you’re worth happiness. You deserve all the happiness in the world!” She pressed but I just sniffed and shook my head.
I leaned back into the chair as tears like silent fountains flowed down my face. I was too tired to even make a sound. Why was life so difficult and when had it not been? “I won’t make a good Luna, mother. I would make the worst Luna in the history of any pack in the world. I can’t believe I had dared to feel hurt when I thought Alexander was going to choose another woman over me.” I scoffed. “I think I just might help him look for a more fitting mate this time. It’s the least I can–”
“SHUT UP!”
I jumped slightly in my chair as my mother’s sudden angry yell startled me. I looked up at her and her eyebrows were pulled together as she gave me a very displeased and almost murderous glare even as her tears seemed to increase.
“Why would you say such a thing, Bella? Why?” Her big doe eyes that I had inherited from her suddenly softened. “You’re hurting and worrying me very much. Please tell me what happened this instant if you don’t want me to get on my knees and beg you for it. Do you need me to go and talk to Alexander for you?”
I sighed, biting my lip and my mother tsked.
“Stop that.” She tsked, tapping my face lightly until I released my bottom lip. “That’s a bad habit.”
At that, I burst into another round of tears and my mother got me to stand up and led me to her parlour where she sat me
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down and pulled me to her chest. She managed to calm me down and I managed to tell her everything. From the entire club ordeal to how painful today was, walking around and getting awful looks from everyone and having to hear about the matter while eavesdropping on Alexander and Blake’s
conversation.
“His father told me that he was glad that I was his son’s mate. I bet he detests me now. I bet he wished the moon goddess picked someone else for Alexander.” I had stopped crying at this point and my tears had long dried off. I’m sure my face was just as blank and empty as I felt as well.
“I have heard you, Bella but the moon goddess does not make a mistake. You should know that by now. Even people who leave their destined mates to fall in love with someone else pay for it somehow plus the excruciating pain their made to feel when they severe the bond. You are still the Luna no matter what Bella. Despite what you think and despite whatever people may say. The ceremony is just formality, you became the Luna immediately the Alpha recognized you as his mate and as the Luna, Bella you should know that the slightest bit of your actions would be monitored as the pack looks up to you.”
“I’ll kill him. The man who started this dreadful rumor. I would find him and kill him, I swear it mom!”
My mom sighed deeply, “Stop thinking about taking a person‘ s life, Bella. Besides, although that man deserves to be punished for daring to spread such disgusting lies about you, it is a fact that clubbing as the Luna is not a good look at all.”
I sighed, “Clubbing is a part of me, mom! Am I really expected to shut up my real self just because I’m the mate of the Alpha?
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I was Isabella before I became Luna mom. It’s not fair.” My voice reduced to a whisper at the last sentence.
My mother just sighed and squeezed my hand. Just then my father walked in, his face down and his hands balled at his sides. “Dad.” I whispered as I stood up going to hug him only to have my head snap to the side and my cheeks sting as he threw a slap across my face. I gasped, stepping back as my hand gently came up to cradle my face. Tears stung my eyes and I looked up to meet my father’s face hoping to see regret or anything of the sort. My father had never hit me, hardly ever even yelled at me but right now all I could see in his eyes was anger as he glared at me before leaving the room and slamming the door behind him.
My mom immediately came up to me, her hand covering mine on my face as she looked at me concerned, “I will talk to him and you might need to talk to him later as well. I’m sorry about what’s happening Bella but it’ll be alright.” She said pulling me into a hug while I just stayed rigid still in denial. It was the only thing keeping the hurt that I knew was going to spread through my chest from spreading doing so right now and crippling me.
“It’s alright.” I said in a controlled voice. “That’s not necessary.” I assured her before giving her a peck on the cheek and bidding her good night.
I walked out of the house and on getting to the car, I realized I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to even drive. I scoffed, who knew I would be saying that when I wasn’t even drunk. By the goddess, I doubted I would even be able to face Alexander again. He might have seemed like he wanted to protect me earlier at his office but what about now? What about tomorrow? He would soon hate me for embarrassing him and
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his family if he doesn’t already.
Shifting into my wolf, I heard my clothes shred to pieces before running into the forest. I felt my wolf take complete control, reveling in being free after such a long time as the wind tickled our fur. I let her. I folded myself into a ball somewhere deep and just let her run. We ran until we got to a familiar spot. It was my favorite spot, I had discovered it years ago when I had my first shift. I wasn’t alone though. My ears stood as I watched the black wolf from the distance I stood.
Ryder?
Eighty–One
