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Chapter 113
Casey
I did not know the meaning of misery until I found myself living in it. Since I learned that Zora was getting married to Darius, my heart has broken into a million pieces.
I was hoping she would come back one day. Most of the northern captives always do. I wanted to right all my wrongs and seek her forgiveness.
I sat on the couch in my living room. I stared at the invitation to the all- region sports games sent to me by the council, and even though we had responded. I was dreading going there. I was going to see Zora in his arms, and my heart could not bear it.
Lori came out of her room, and that was when I noticed she had packed her bags.
“Where are you going to? You are almost due.” I asked her, and she bowed her head.
“This isn’t the life I wanted for myself, Casey. I can’t continue living in another woman’s shadow. She has moved on, yet you choose to be miserable. I have pleaded with you several times. You have disgraced me and belittled me. Most of the Lunas mock me now. I do not have a title, and neither are we married. Why did you do this to me, Casey?” She said, and I did not know how to start.
“I can’t forgive myself for what we did to Zora. She did not deserve all that happened to her here.” I said, confessing my truth, and she sobbed.
“Why?” she asked, and I looked at her.
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wrenching
“She would have done the same had she found her fated,” Lori said, and I shook my head.
“She was stronger than me in that regard, Lori. I know Zora, and she would die before breaking her promise. She would have risked being weak to stay happy with me.” I said and bowed my head.
“I was her first. She did not want to get with me because we weren’t fated, but I assured her she had nothing to worry about,” I said, and after saying it, I saw myself as a deceiver.
“She did not want me, Lori, but I assured her. I told her I would reject my fated and risk being weak. She trained to be strong because of me, and we used to joke about balancing each other’s strength.” I said, and Lori came to sit next to me while I wept.
you
“I promised her many things and broke everything that day on the balcony when I did not reject you. You came to my home quite alright, but did not force me to get into your bed. You did not force me to accept the bond or claim you and did not force me to make her share. I lost my way completely and found myself doing things I couldn’t even imagine to her Never spending time with her, refusing to go out with her. I did so many things to her, Lori; I treated her like a burden. And do you know the twisted part of all of this was that I expected her to bear with me and understand? I was a selfish prick,” I said, laughing at myself.
“I hurt her and broke all my promises. I was her first, and I broke everything. I can never forgive myself for what I did to my wife, Lori. She wanted to have children, and I told her we should wait; I could only understand her pain when she found out you were pregnant. I knew she would be hurt if I did not take the same precautions with you. It was as if I had used her to while away time until my fated came. I had failed completely, so I can’t move on, Lori.” I said and looked at her.
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“I do not hate or dislike you. If anything, you have been with me through this difficult time, but I can’t forgive myself for what I did to Zora. I saw the pain in her eyes before those men attacked, and I can never shake off the fact that I caused it. That pain was a permanent fixture since the dinner party when I met you. I failed her every single time until there was nothing left to salvage,” I said and began to weep.
I had to let out my hurt because, other than being my wife, Zora was my best friend and confidant. I thought Dustin was my best friend, but I was wrong. Zora was there all along, and I took her for granted. She was always there to lift me up; she had my back and looked out for me. She made me happy and went out of her way to put a smile on my face.
I had never felt so alone in my life. Although I was surrounded by people, I was lonely and sad.
Lori wrapped her arms around me and let me cry. The irony was that she was the cause of my pain and was trying to comfort me.
“You have to forgive yourself, Casey. Zora has moved on, and she has found love.” She said with a definite tone, meaning she knew something I didn’t.
I broke the hug, wiped away my tears, and looked into her eyes.
“How do you know this?” I asked her, and she smiled.
“You forget I schooled in the north. Everyone is talking about the soon–to- be lady of the north. The Wolf Lord is madly in love with her. She presides over council matters. She can do whatever she likes. Recently she went to the west unaccompanied to discuss peace with Alpha Jake. She has moved on Casey, and she is happy. Why can’t we do the same?” She said. I was hurt to hear that Zora was free to move around, and she did not bother to come and see me so we could talk things through.
“She has let you go, Casey; you should do the same,” Lori said, and I shook my head.
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“If you think I am lying to you, you will see them at the all–region games, I am sure you will have closure then,” she said and stood up.
“As for me, I am going back home. I hoped you would come around, but until you get the closure you want, I know you won’t come around,” She said, and I stopped her from leaving.
“You will be due soon,” I said and placed my hand on her bump.
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